A few posts earlier I complained about my hangup with regard to a “blank Page”. I tried to draw some prissy little flowers when I was in Edmonton but basically was beaten up by the blankness. This changed today.
I have been having some problems with the provincial bureaucracy. They have screwed up my file three times in 4 months. The in the latest idiocy they decided I had left the province, even though they knew, acknowledged that I had only gone to look after my mother for 6 weeks. In late June I reported that i was back – By actually going into the office and handing them a letter which included a copy of the letter as to why I was going, handed it to them physically, was identified as who I was, showed them that my body was in the province and in their office. Then I waited, no cheque, I called “10 business days”, called again “But you didn’t give them the plane tickets like they requested, oh they didn’t contact you?”, no they didn’t nor did anyone tell me I needed to present those too, after all my body was there in the office, how did they think it got there?
So I felt totally fried and frantic this morning and sat there in journaled and got more and more angry. I needed to express myself and fabric would take too long. So I dug out some pastels I had bought a few years ago, some charcoal, and dug out my easel and paper. I had a photo of a male from an add that I used as a start and just ripped into it. I don’t think I have ever used pastels quite like this.
I feel much better now. Most of my anxiety is gone.
Now I just have to figure out what to do with the thing.